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Finance for Land

Our customer needed finance for land, which he was buying next door to his house. After the loan for land had completed our customer said this about us: ‘May I take this opportunity to thank you once again, your personal level of customer service was first class. I will stay in touch because I am […]

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You couldn’t make it up!

Looting a Poundland or stealing water – our riot idiots have nothing on these demi-wits mainly from across the pond.  These apparently true stories make some of our rioters look positively Einstein next to the feckless persons contained in them. Please enjoy these little anecdotes though bear in mind, whilst doing so, that these people can […]

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The riots.

I’ve read a report suggesting that the recent riots in London and other cities in England will cost the taxpayer £100m. This is on top of the distress and heartache, caused to the majority, by a mindless minority. What investor is going to put money into this once green and pleasant land if our government […]

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The World’s local bank?

I had cause to travel to London on 29th July 2011. Given that this meant bending the plastic a little, I thought I’d better call the credit card company, in this case HSBC, to let it know that I’d be doing this – after all I did not want the darlings to think a tea leaf […]

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The meaning of success

It seems to me that success these days is measured in terms of material gain and cheap celebrity status though, with my penchant for the deep and meaningful, I thought I would share a poignant definition of the word success. Here goes: –  To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people […]

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Jail pensioners and put criminals in a nursing home.

ANOTHER BRILLIANT SOLUTION – YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE THE RATIONALE FOR PENSIONERS Pensioners would have access to showers, walks and a broad range of activities. Pensioners would  receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental care and medical treatment. Pensioners would not receive the paltry fuel allowance but they’d receive more money than they paid out so who […]

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How to fix the economy

There are around 10 million people over 50 in the UK work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement on the following conditions: 1) They MUST retire.  Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed 2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed 3) They MUST either buy […]

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Alerts to Threats in 2011 Europe: by John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran […]

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Getting Through the Political Maze Using Cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows; you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have two cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM: You have two cows. The State takes both and you never see them again. BUREAUCRACY: […]

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