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YOBS IN THE COUNTRYSIDE - NEVER
Imagine - you are driving along a country lane (which in late spring are simply fantastic) only to espy a sofa sat in a lay-by. Has it been left there for you to take a seat and enjoy? No, of course not, it's there because some idle poltroon could not be bothered to take the half price special, with nothing to pay for a year and interest free for the next millennium, to the tip and considers that a beauty spot is in need of their acrid, foul smelling, fag burned and concentrically stained (with Lord knows what) cast offs.
Now I use a bit of woodland myself and am forever picking up plastic bottles and those poly food containers; you know the sort they serve Argentinian beef in. Naturally, all these are the produce of scrofulous and feckless morons who rather than expending a calorie finding a waste bin would sooner get rid of it by throwing it from the Vauxhall Corsa with the channel tunnel exhaust. You know the ones - you hear the sub-woofa before you see 'em. [Political correction - this is not to say that only persons driving Vauxhall Corsas drop litter; it is accepted that it is quite possible for morons to drive w*hi*e vans or even non-w*hi*e vehicles].
So why should I be writing about this other than venting my angst at those who think the countryside is for tipping? The reason is those people who think the countryside is for tipping. You see, beyond the disgusting and anti-social habit of chucking a bit of domestic flotsam around is the even more disgusting and anti-social habit of fly-tipping or the illegal dumping of waste. And guess what, even more disgusting and anti-social is the fact that if some oink dumps any of this stuff on your land you become responsible for it. The only exceptions are cars and toxic waste.
If you should be unfortunate enough to find a burnt out Vauxhall Corsa on your land, pick up the 'phone and call the police though if you are to wait for them, take a tent and a fortnight's supplies. In the case of toxic or contaminated waste (no this does not refer to the persons who dumped it but maybe ought to) you should inform your local authority or environment agency.
The environment agency website apparently suggests that fly-tipping is a major problem which, given the recent increase in landfill taxes, appears set to get worse. Of course, prevention is better than cure and so the solution apparently lies in good land management about which you can find suggestions from the environment agency on www.environment-agency.gov.uk. Much of this will be teaching granny to suck eggs but then this is what you pay your taxes for?
Anyway, must go, I've got a gallows to construct.
Mark Bracegirdle FCCA FMAAT
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