Looting a Poundland or stealing water – our riot idiots have nothing on these demi-wits mainly from across the pond. 

These apparently true stories make some of our rioters look positively Einstein next to the feckless persons contained in them. Please enjoy these little anecdotes though bear in mind, whilst doing so, that these people can bear progeny and presumambly vote in their own countries!

1. California – during a hold-up in Long Beach, would-be robber James Elliot’s .38 revolver failed to fire at his intended victim. Accordingly, he peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked – goodbye.

The interests of our customers are always at our heart and we always like to know how they are getting on. Last year we raised a farm loan for some land for our customers in South Wales. The land finance has clearly been used well and our customers have recently contacted us again about a farm loan for expansion.

Here is what they said:

‘Hi Mark
 
Hope all is well, we are having a fab time !

I’ve read a report suggesting that the recent riots in London and other cities in England will cost the taxpayer £100m. This is on top of the distress and heartache, caused to the majority, by a mindless minority. What investor is going to put money into this once green and pleasant land if our government cannot protect communities from a bunch of masked poltroons? Just how is our Olympian reputation to be perceived.

ANNOUNCEMENT

We ask you to note that we are nothing to do with and have no connection with (nor have we ever had) with UK Farm Finance or its successors and nor have we ever done business with them.

We are aware that UK Farm Finance was associated with UK Finance and Mortgage Services Limited, which entered into a Corporate Voluntary Arrangement.

We have no connection with the following companies:

UK Acorn Finance Ltd, UK Farm Finance Limited, Acorn Agricultural Finance Ltd and Acorn Farm Management Services Ltd.

One of our competitors has recently changed the term bridging finance to opportunity finance. Presumably, the term opportunity would imply that there is some benefit to the customer.

Our competitor appears to be a slick operation – on the day after you call you’ll get a visit and during this visit an assessment of your business will be carried out to find out whether it can pay the interest. Your property will then be quickly valued by their own valuer. Paperwork will quickly be prepared showing you the charges. Before moving on to this I’ll set out the postion our customers were in.

I had cause to travel to London on 29th July 2011. Given that this meant bending the plastic a little, I thought I’d better call the credit card company, in this case HSBC, to let it know that I’d be doing this – after all I did not want the darlings to think a tea leaf had my card and for it to be declined somewhere.

We’ve completed a deal today – not much of a surprise but then there were some challenges that required expertise and show why it is best to use us if you have some difficulties.

There is no doubt that if the News of the World has been doing the things alleged, those involved should have the book thrown at them and the key thrown away.

We’ve mentioned before about how the current austerity measures, and the lack of tax take, is influencing HM Revenue & Customs to look under stones. And so it is with the under-valuation of probate properties.

According to accountancy firm UHY Hacker Young, HMRC has insisted on revaluations, of probate properties, to collect more Inheritance Tax; it has also levied huge penalites where there is under payment. The firm says that HMRC conducted over 9,000 investigations into estates and beneficiaries last year, which brought in an additional £70m of IHT. Apparently, where executors have failed to demonstrate that they have taken ‘reasonable care’ to ensure a property valuation is accurate, the estate and its beneficiaries face penalties of up to 100% of the additional tax due, on top of the extra tax.

The Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee today held interest rates at its record low for the 27th month in a row.

Clearly, the committee feels that its priority is the recovery and not inflation. Whilst some people believe that a base rate rise is necessary, it is the case that the current inflation is not driven by demand, but rather commodity prices and tax rises.

Do these people really expect that if the base rate rises, the Arabs will reduce their oil prices?